Wednesday, December 22, 2010
King of Kings
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Plan B
Thursday, October 28, 2010
wrapped up
Friday, October 8, 2010
ROOMS of Vision
Everything starts with a dream. You perish if you do not have a vision for your dream. On January 25, 2010, I awoke from a dream: “a large Victorian home with several stories. I was getting the bride ready in her dress. Preparation was key to the event.”
Two years prior my husband Rich had a dream that we were preparing a large white house in Hawaii for visiting dignitaries, sort of as caretakers of the property.
In April 2010 I got a call from Darlene Cunningham, co-founder with her husband and founder Loren, of Youth With A Mission. She wanted me, an interior designer, to help furnish “King’s Mansion”. This is a property owned by YWAM near Kona on the Big Island of Hawaii. I enthusiastically began visualizing the project. Working on something BIGGER than you presents challenges that only an INFINTE GOD can COMPLETE. I went to Kona in July, 2010 to review the scope of the project. When Rich saw King’s Mansion he knew immediately that this was the house in his dream. We had both been to Kona many times since our Crossroad DTS in 1985. This latest visit strengthened our vision.
During that visit Loren was giving a tour of the Mansion to a group of leaders from around the world. He turned to Cindy & Tom, who are currently on the property and key to the renovation. He asked Cindy to share the dream she had while a SOE student at YWAM on another Hawaiian Island in 1973. “This is the house I saw in the small group as we were praying for direction for YWAM in the Hawaiian islands”.
Let her words continue to give VISION. “Jill Dawson (now Jill Bills) saw a large white house on a hill with a veranda and green shutters. As she spoke this out, I had, as it were, a vivid picture of this house--even where it was located on the island. Of course none of us had ever been in Kona before.
Several years went by and Tom and I were in Kona for the first time. Loren picked us up from the airport and took us to the new property that YWAM had gotten not too long before. It was King's Mansion we saw that day in prayer. Exactly!” she exclaimed.
This property was purchased in 1977 from the old Greenwell Estate a home steeped in history dating to 1903. Shortly thereafter John Dawson, Jill’s brother and now President of YWAM, started sharing about the Mansion being a place of prayer as well as a gathering place for leaders. Confirming how key leaders with a heart for prayer that bring forth VISON would be coming together, he had recently met with Lou Engle and Mike Bickle on the property. This will be a special place, a place to CATCH DREAMS.
Loren Cunningham along with Bill Bright founder of Campus Crusade for Christ both got the vision for the 7 spheres of society in 1975. In this they knew YWAM was to be an “influencer” to every arena in life. Loren’s vision and insight has caused the YWAM organization to be a leader in missions with over 1300 world wide locations. The Manison will be such a place where leaders can mingle from all the spheres of society. (read vision following)
He shared with us a progressive principle that “ prayer leads to ideas, ideas to vision, vision to events, events to communities and individual impartation.” The vision of his life has come from this progression. See the following vision for KINGS MANSION and look at their web site for more information of the history for past 50 years.
I now know why there was so much preparation in my dream. I want to make this the most beautiful place to get the “BRIDE READY”. I remember preparing and serving lots of food to the guests. Will you be ready to come to the wedding? Your place is set. Dreams do come true. We will complete and furnish all the rooms that really matter in life. DREAM BIG.
KING’S MANSION
YWAM Kealakekua, Hawaii
The vision for King’s Mansion is to serve as a gathering place for global leaders to relate and network around kingdom purposes in an environment of scriptural enrichment and spiritual renewal.
These leaders will be convened at King’s Mansion in Kealakekua, Hawaii according to categories that influence society, such as church and mission, government, business (including science & technology), education, media, etc. King’s may host an event focused on one sphere at a time, or bring together a mixture of spheres for catalytic networking and multi-generational purposes. Though Youth With A Mission will serve as the host for these gatherings, the events will be multi-organizational, drawing individuals from a broad cross-section of Christendom and society.
King’s will also be a place committed to fast-track young leaders, providing a context where the young mix, mingle and discuss together with experienced, mature leaders in the various spheres of society, allowing for impartation and multiplication.
Kings will serve as a gathering place for senior YWAM leadership teams as well—a place to fellowship, pray and strategize around future initiatives.
The Heritage Center at King’s Mansion will house displays, photographs and artifacts of key significance to YWAM’s history, values and vision—the DNA of this missions movement. Resident and visiting researchers and writers will use King’s to connect the past with the future.
All of the gatherings and events outlined above will provide the opportunity to offer internships for those called to roles in hospitality, operations and administration. These six-month and one-year internships will equip people to multiply these practical ministries. The internships will be overlapped to provide in-house continuity for the running of King’s Mansion.
YOUTH WITH A MISSION / UNIVERSITY OF THE NATIONS
Youth With A Mission (YWAM) is an ever-expanding global "family of ministries" born in 1960 which has reached into every nation. The work of YWAM encompasses evangelism, training and mercy ministries and is manned by nearly 20,000 full-time staff from more than 200 nationalities and a wide variety of denominations who serve at more than 1,300 ministry sites in 177 nations. More than four million students, short-term volunteers, part-time and full-time staff have served with YWAM since its inception.
The University of the Nations (UofN), is YWAM's global university. Since its inception in 1978, the UofN has grown
to offer more than 800 different kinds of courses and seminars (some of which are offered in 95 languages), held at more than 520 locations in more than 140 countries. Hundreds of thousands of students are registered within the global UofN system who have taken at least a Discipleship Training School (DTS), the entry course and pre-requisite for all other UofN courses and/or for becoming YWAM staff.
Anyone who has completed a DTS is qualified for "continued education" in UofN courses
anywhere they are offered worldwide, for the rest of his/her life. With appropriate course
credits he/she will receive UofN degrees through Masters level, when qualified. But more
importantly, he/she will be better equipped to serve the Lord in the role He has given
him/her to glorify Jesus and transform nations. For more information and course registration,
contact us at www.uofnkona.edu
Loren Cunningham
Founder, Youth With A Mission / President, University of the Nations
3/10
STEP INTO YOUR DREAMS
STEP INTO YOUR DREAMS
There is JOY when we know our life takes on new meaning. We have just gone thru the celebration of GREAT JOY, Sukokot in the HEBREW calendar. In Israel it is a time to share meals and vision with family members in the Sukkah. ( related posts 0ct 3-6-09) To me it is such a special time to make ROOM for my KING. I love to hear what is on HIS heart.
I have always invited my LORD into my dreams for interior design projects. Working on a NEW design often causes sleep deprivation. Furniture becomes my “sheep” as I struggle for sleep. New ideas swirl. VISION dances before my eyes. Surely vibrant color will capture the eye!
This year the Sukot celebration reminded me of RENEWED VISION and purpose. As the closed warehouse chapter in my life came to a conclusion, I turn the pages in my dream journal. They are coming into FULL VIEW.
May I open my dreams to you.
I am SO GLAD my REDEEMER LIVES. He never lets me MISS OUT! All the years of designing MANSIONS for others has finally brought me into the room with HIS VIEW. If I can say one thing to you “HOLD ON TO YOUR DREAM. IF IT IS DELAYED, WAIT, IT WILL COME INTO FULL VIEW”.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Awesome triple inspiring year ahead!
Love to look into the Hebrew year as it approaches and read what others are saying we can expect. One Jewish scholar said this will be a year where 771 is the multiple of 3! I have been seeing and saying 333 for months. The bible verse Jer. 33:3 leaps. It's actually been seen so many times, often written on people's heart. One time I met a girl from Japan while hiking the vortex in Sedona who I was able to share G-d's love. Let me share how this happened. I realized her hesitation to talk with a stranger. I even wrote about this G-d collide in a previous blog. We chatted before I asked her a question that changed her life. I saw so clearly the numbers 333 over her heart. I asked if this means anything to you? It was her exact age, 33 and ,wow, the thrill on her face to know that someone loved her. So fun to know I was on track with my running shoes laced. I am so ready to start afresh and finish strong. Anticipation sets in as we prepare to see what awesome and awe inspiring triple blessings are on our hike. I know I am going to be like the deer that pants for water in Ps42 awaiting the Messiah's return! I am so thirsty for a drink of the fresh water.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
RACE FOR FREEDOM
utube.com/watch_popup?v=ZprVPKi-W6s
I AM ISRAEL.
Sometimes we listen to others without SEEING for ourself. A False sense of reality is SHAPED and takes form, leaving us without BALANCE. My children could not learn to ride a bike unless they held onto the bars. We are all looking at people trying to ride bumpy trails. Mountain bilking in the desert is often treacherous, even for the EXPERIENCED.
We love to live the lives of others. The danger on the road is that we are not adapted to the terrain. We have no concept for the climb and rugged trail. We always give advice when we are not on the road. Designers know this better than most professionals. We have learned to balance OTHERS opinions and keep peddling.
Others wonder WHY CARE ABOUT THIS TINY PIECE OF REAL ESTATE - ISRAEL? Mary Ann you have so much to do, why bother? This clip put NEW TREAD on the MOUNTAIN BIKE! Amazing when family and friends question. Focus and determine to keep moving forward against all odds. We in AMERICA seem to be riding down a different bike path.
All focus this weekend in WASHINGTON is dividing the trail. We used to ride together. Now we seem to manage to push the OTHER off. Cycling used to be a sport we enjoyed together. Israel and America in the past even shared bikes. We were known to ride TANDUM. Now we are not on the same BIKE.
Don't you remember trying to ride together and the other was not balancing correctly? This called for a crash. We are tipping our points with ISRAEL and leaning on the wrong side. We are not even holding on to the handle bars correctly.
America - regain BALANCE . RIDE in the RACE for FREEDOM. LET go of WORLD VIEWS regarding ISRAEL. Look at what our FOUNDING FATHERS saw in the Bible,"he who BLESSES ISRAEL will be blessed". It would do us all well to experience the TRUTH THAT WILL ALLOW FREEDOM TO REIGN. G-d has a plan. He wants us to RIDE again with HIM. PRAYER WILL CHANGE A NATION.
May we BELIEVE TO SEE that we will be riding with HIM.
Monday, June 7, 2010
SEA SAW
Hello, Turkey?
By AARON SCHOCK06/06/2010 05:09
Talkbacks (42)
Yes, Egypt has blockaded Gaza under Hamas’s control as much as the Israelis have – and with the widespread support of Arab governments and the PA. Where’s the outrage?
Palestinians are supposedly experiencing a humanitarian crisis, and yet no Arab or Islamicgovernment has demanded Egypt open its border with Gaza. Hello, Turkey?
When Israel pulled out completely from the Gaza Strip in 2005, it imposed no blockade. It was only after Hamas began a terror campaignwith 10,000 rockets fired at Israeli civilians thatIsrael and Egypt imposed this blockade – with PA and Arab support. No Arab governmentwanted a terror-prone Hamas to flourish in Gaza, let alone spread.
ONE NEEDS to ask: If the Kurds or the Kurdistan Workers’ Party (PKK) across the Turkish border in Iraq rained 10,000 rockets on Turkish civilians, what would the Turks do? After all, the Kurds have legitimate disputes with the government of Turkey, and have been viciously repressed.
What if international NGOs decided to airlift humanitarian supplies to PKK refugees in Iraq, with those shipments containing civilian equipment that could easily be made into weapons?
Only Turkey recognizes a Turkish republic in Northern Cyprus. What would the Turkish military’s response be if organizations from nations that do not recognize the Turkish occupation of Northern Cyprus decided to break that military occupation?
Again, regarding Turkish hypocrisy, the prime minister of Turkey, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, received the international pariah who leads Sudan – President Omar Bashir – a man who has committed genocide. The International Criminal Court has an arrest warrant out for him on charges of genocide, crimes against humanity and war crimes. Not only has the Darfur region of Sudan experienced genocide directed by Bashir and hisgovernment, but other regions of southern Sudan have as well. During the visit in mid-August of last year, Erdogan said he did not believe Bashir was guilty of the war crimes for which he was indicted.
And here is how the Turkish prime minister justified that widely disputed contention: “It is not possible for those who belong to the Muslim faith to carry out genocide,” said Erdogan. He deems Bashir innocent. End of story.
THE TURKISH foreign minister recently called the flotilla episode, “Turkey’s 9-11.” Shame on you sir. No American should ever forget such an insult.
This brings me to the reason for the blockade of Gaza, including the Israeli naval blockade. Some of the items on the ships were dual-use, with both civilian and military uses. For instance, there was rebar for a small amount of cement.
Heaven knows Gaza needs a lot of rebuilding. This tiny amount is insignificant for construction, however, although it’s a nice supply of iron to be converted into weapons.
If the Israeli naval blockade ends does anyone really think Hamas won’t be importing a wide array of weapons? If the ships don’t have to go through checkpoints, arms shipments would resume without a doubt – and so would the rocket attacks.
What nation would sit back and allow arms to pour into a neighboring territory that will certainly be used in more attacks on its people? If the blockade ends, arms shipments into Gaza will resume, and rocket firings into will Israel resume. It’s that simple.
None of the United Nations peacekeeping organizations and observers has kept out the sophisticated weapons imported by Hizbullah into southern Lebanon – despite absolute UN assurances to do so. No similar observers are capable of standing in the way of Iranian arms shipments to Hamas either. Only Israeli and Egyptian checkpoints can do that.
Again, I ask, would Turkey allow similar organizations to ship uninspected cargo to the suffering PKK Kurds in Turkey and Iraq? Hamas needs to negotiate with its estranged brothers in the Palestinian Authority in the West Bank, and commit themselves to peaceand recognition of Israel. Then peace and prosperity will prevail.
Let’s get the facts straight and the hypocrisy exposed as this debate proceeds.
The writer, a Republican, represents Illinois’ 18th Congressional District. He is the youngest member of Congress.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
A PLACE WITHIN HER WALLS
Photo by: Ariel Jerozolimski
Rejoice on Jerusalem Day
By ISI LEIBLER11/05/2010 21:21
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Israel you are not Alone
Teresa Neumann (Mar 24, 2010)
"The connection between the Jewish people and the Land of Israel cannot be denied. The connection between the Jewish people and Jerusalem cannot be denied. The Jewish people were building Jerusalem 3,000 years ago and the Jewish people are building Jerusalem today. Jerusalem is not a settlement. It's our capital."
(Washington, D.C.)—A March 23 report in Haaretz describes the highly charged difference of opinions addressed in Washington when Israel's Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu met with Secretary of Defense Hillary Rodham Clinton. In contrast, however, at the same time, the Prime Minister received an overwhelming voice of support and a standing ovation from nearly 8,000 attendants after delivering a powerful speech at the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC).
The Prime Minister reportedly spoke several hours after Secretary Clinton charged that Israel's building in parts of Jerusalem that the United States does not recognize as being under Israeli sovereignty "undermines" U.S. policy.
Noted the report in Haaretz, when Netanyahu spoke, he "pointed out that Israel has made constant to the concessions to the United States and Palestinian Authority but drew the red line at Jerusalem, reasoning that building houses for Jews in all of united Jerusalem in no way precludes the possibility of a two-state solution. More than half of the American Congressmen were among the more than 7,000 people listening to the speech at the annual conference of the pro-Israel lobby group in Washington. The speech was delayed in order to allow people to enter the packed convention hall." (Photo: Haaretz)
The following are excerpts from Prime Minister Netanyahu's speech:
"As the world faces monumental challenges, I know that America and Israel will face them together. We stand together because we are fired by the same ideals and inspired by the same dreams—the dreams of achieving prosperity, security and peace for all. Now, this dream seemed an impossibility to most Jews a century ago.
"This month, my father celebrated his one-hundredth birthday. That's not his only achievement, but when he was born, the Czars ruled Russia, the British Empire spanned the globe and the Ottoman Empire ruled the Middle East. During his lifetime, all three of these empires fell. Others rose and fell, and the Jewish destiny, the pendulum of Jewish faith, swung from despair to a new hope and a new beginning—the rebirth of the Jewish state.
"See, for the first time in two thousand years, a sovereign Jewish people could defend itself against attack. And before that—understand what transformation this was—before that, in our dispersion, we were powerless, absolutely powerless to defend ourselves against an unremitting barrage of savagery from the bloodletting in the Middle Ages, to the expulsion of the Jews from England, and then from Spain and then from Portugal, to the wholesale slaughter of Jews in the Ukraine, to the pogroms in Russia, culminating in the greatest horror of all—the Holocaust.
"The founding of Israel didn't stop the attack on the Jews. But it merely—well it's more than merely—it gave the Jews the power to defend themselves against those attacks.
"I want to tell you about the day when I realized what this transformation was. It was the day I met Shlomit Vilmosh over forty years ago. I was nineteen years old. I served with her son, with Shlomit's son, Haim, in the same elite military unit. And one dark night during a battle in 1969, Haim was killed in a burst of gunfire. At his funeral, in a kibbutz in the Galilee, I learned something. I discovered that Haim had been born shortly after his mother and father had been freed from the death camps of Europe. If Haim had been born two years earlier, this daring young Israeli officer would have been tossed into the ovens like a million and a half other Jewish children. Haim's mother Shlomit told me that though she was in great anguish, she was proud. At least, she told me—and this is something I'll never forget as long as I live—at least she said, my son fell wearing the uniform of a Jewish soldier defending the Jewish state.
"And time and again Israel's soldiers were forced to repel the attacks of much larger enemies committed to our destruction. Yet when Egypt and Jordan realized that we could not be defeated in battle, they embraced the path of peace and we value the peace treaties we've achieved with both countries. Yet there are those who continue the assault against the Jewish state; there are those who openly call for our destruction. They seek to achieve this goal through terrorism, missile attacks and most recently by developing atomic weapons.
"It's instructive that the ingathering of the Jews to Israel doesn't deter them. In fact, it whets their appetite. Iran's rulers say "Israel is a one bomb country." The head of Hezbollah says: "If all the Jews gather in Israel, it will save us the trouble of going after them worldwide."
"My friends, these are unpleasant facts, but they are the facts. The greatest threat to any living organism, to any nation, is not to recognize danger in time—not to recognize the facts.
"Seventy-five years ago, many leaders around the world put their heads in the sand. Untold millions died in the war that followed. Ultimately, two of history's greatest leaders helped turn the tide. Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Winston Churchill helped save the world. Indeed they deserve every applause. They helped save the world, but they were too late to save six million of my own people, the Jewish people. The future of the Jewish state can never depend on the goodwill of even the greatest of men. Israel must always reserve the right to defend itself.
"Today, an unprecedented threat to humanity looms large. A radical Iranian regime armed with nuclear weapons could bring an end to the era of nuclear peace that the world has enjoyed for the last 65 years. Such a regime could provide nuclear weapons to terrorists. It might even be tempted to use them and our world would never be the same. Iran's brazen bid to develop nuclear weapons is certainly first and foremost a threat to my country, to Israel, but it's a threat to the entire region; it's a threat to the entire world. Israel thus expects the international community to act swiftly and to act decisively to thwart this danger. But we always reserve the right of self-defense.
"...I want to be clear. This doesn't mean that Israel is above criticism. Of course not. Israel, like any democracy, has its imperfections but we strive to correct them through open debate and through scrutiny. Israel has independent courts, the rule of law, a free press and a vigorous parliamentary debate. Believe me, it's very vigorous. Well you've just gone through a week of healthcare voting. In Israel, every week is healthcare week. It doesn't stop.
"I know that in this city, members of Congress refer to one another as my distinguished colleague from Wisconsin, the distinguished Senator from California. In Israel, members of Knesset don't speak of their distinguished colleagues from Be'er Sheva or Kiryat Shmona. Because in Israel, self-criticism is a way of life, and we also accept that criticism is part and parcel of the conduct of international affairs. But Israel should be judged by the same standards applied to all nations and to other democracies. Sometimes I think there's a triple standard: one standard for the dictatorships, a second standard for the democracies and a third standard is the standard for Israel. We should be judged by one standard and allegations made against the State of Israel must be grounded in facts. One allegation that is not grounded in fact is the attempt to describe the Jews as foreign colonialists in their own homeland. This is one of the great lies of modern times.
"In my office, I have a signet ring that was loaned to me by Israel's Department of Antiquities This ring was found next to the Western wall, but it dates back 2,800 years ago, two hundred years after King David declared Jerusalem as our people's capital. This ring is a seal of a Jewish official, and his name is inscribed on it in Hebrew. The name is: Netanyahu. Netanyahu Ben-Yoash. That's my last name. My first name, Benjamin, dates back 1,000 years earlier to Benjamin, the son of Jacob. One of Benjamin's brothers was named Shimon, which also happens to be the first name of my good friend, Shimon Peres, the President of Israel. Nearly 4,000 years ago, Benjamin, Shimon and their ten brothers roamed the hills of Judea.
"Ladies and Gentlemen. The connection between the Jewish people and the Land of Israel cannot be denied. The connection between the Jewish people and Jerusalem cannot be denied. The Jewish people were building Jerusalem 3,000 years ago and the Jewish people are building Jerusalem today. Jerusalem is not a settlement. It's our capital...
"Our soldiers and your soldiers fight against fanatic enemies that loathe our common values. In the eyes of these fanatics, we are you and you are us. To them, the only difference is that you are big and we are small. You see, you are the "great satan" and we are the "small satan." There's an important point here. This fanaticism's hatred of Western civilization predates the establishment of modern Israel by a thousand years. Militant Islam does not hate the West because of Israel. It hates Israel because of the West—because it sees Israel as an outpost of freedom and democracy that prevents them from overrunning the Middle East. That is why when Israel stands against its enemies—it stands against America's enemies."
You may read this speech in its entirety by clicking on the source link provided.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
This is the LOVE month. I was born on Valentines Day, so it has always had special meaning. As a little girl the thrill of cutting out paper hearts and attaching lace dollies to put in the mail made me wait with anticipation for a response. Isn’t that like us. We are always waiting for someone to respond. That somehow answers our heart that says "love me", "notice me", "look at me" and "understand my unmet need."
Many boyfriends and broken hearts later, Valentines Day took on new meaning. It becomes a lonely day with out a special guy to say "Be MINE". Marriage and valentines came, and I began the struggle over "be mine". There were years I was ready to say "be yours". Remember I am in the business of trading spaces and furniture, my heart had to be tenderized to see "me". Amazing how we always think it is "him or them".
How is a woman to forgive her husband when he jam's birthday into Valentines Day in one card? I have tried over 25 years to express that these are 2 separate occasions. I have decided now that we do not celebrate birthdays anymore we will just celebrate LIFE!
Like working out struggles we have with a friend, particularly our spouse, when we want to say this will not work. I am not going to bend on this issue and we want to pack up and leave, we learn to rearrange our thinking to engage in their thoughts and the things that make their space more comfortable. Sometime we have to say “I am sorry for the way I held this against you. I will make it work". Letting go and letting G-D has always helped.
Just read an article today. So true for the love month. Read it at bottom. Great wisdom. When we can communicate our feelings and pray about the outcome, we discover the possibilities that our life has. We have each other. It is just like the rooms of furniture and all the changes to “our plans” that take place. When we believe in love and the commitment we have vowed, the moving of furniture from the past isn’t so hard. Our unmet expectations change but our commitment to each other changes not. Our love is the “glue stick” that holds us together.
This Valentines do not let your heart be broken . Look at ways to redesign your space. I am putting my expectations in things that are lasting. I am not hoping in romantic surprises. I will admit though that I love them when they come and they show up just in time.
I now have learned to place my hope in things that are lasting and not let the build up of unmet expectations disappoint me. The LOVE I have found never leaves me feeling shortchanged.
This year I am traveling to Israel for a month to fulfill a dream with purpose. I am setting my heart to be a blessing to women who have lost hope thru tragedy and loss. I have a husband who loves me even though he sometimes does not give me the unspoken dreams of my heart. He is my VALENTINE.
"The scientists defined forgiveness as the diminishing of the initial negative feelings that arise when you've been wronged. Their results showed that those who had prayed for their partner harbored fewer vengeful thoughts and emotions: They were more ready to forgive and move on."
The following is a news release from American Psychological Science News(APS):
We have all been guilty of a transgression at one time or another. That's because we're not perfect. We all commit hurtful acts, violate trust, and hope for forgiveness.
That's simply a fact, and here's another one: Nine out of 10 Americans say that they pray—at least on occasion. Florida State University psychologist Nathaniel Lambert put these two facts together and came up with an idea: Why not take all that prayer and direct it at the people who have wronged us? Is it possible that directed prayer might spark forgiveness in those doing the praying—and in the process preserve relationships?(Photo by: Adrian van Leen)
Lambert and his colleagues decided to test this scientifically in two experiments appearing in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. In the first, they had a group of men and women pray one single prayer for their romantic partner's well being. Others—the experimental controls—they simply described their partner, speaking into a tape recorder.
Then they measured forgiveness. The scientists defined forgiveness as the diminishing of the initial negative feelings that arise when you've been wronged. Their results showed that those who had prayed for their partner harbored fewer vengeful thoughts and emotions: They were more ready to forgive and move on.
If one single prayer can cause such a striking difference in feelings, then what could prayer over a period of time do for a relationship? In a second study, the researchers had a group of men and women pray for a close friend every day for four weeks. Others simply reflected on the relationship, thinking positive thoughts but not praying for their friend's well-being. They also added another dimension. They used a scale to measure selfless concern for others—not any particular person but other people generally. They speculated that prayer would increase selfless concern, which in turn would boost forgiveness.
And that's just what they found. But why? How does this common spiritual practice exert its healing effects? The psychological scientists have an idea: Most of the time, couples profess and believe in shared goals, but when they hit a rough patch, they often switch to adversarial goals like retribution and resentment. These adversarial goals shift cognitive focus to the self, and it can be tough to shake that self-focus. Prayer appears to shift attention from the self back to others, which allows the resentments to fade.