Photo by: Ariel Jerozolimski
Rejoice on Jerusalem Day
By ISI LEIBLER11/05/2010 21:21
An axiom for life taught through a designer's eyes.
ax·i·om
:an established rule or principle or a self-evident truth
This is the LOVE month. I was born on Valentines Day, so it has always had special meaning. As a little girl the thrill of cutting out paper hearts and attaching lace dollies to put in the mail made me wait with anticipation for a response. Isn’t that like us. We are always waiting for someone to respond. That somehow answers our heart that says "love me", "notice me", "look at me" and "understand my unmet need."
Many boyfriends and broken hearts later, Valentines Day took on new meaning. It becomes a lonely day with out a special guy to say "Be MINE". Marriage and valentines came, and I began the struggle over "be mine". There were years I was ready to say "be yours". Remember I am in the business of trading spaces and furniture, my heart had to be tenderized to see "me". Amazing how we always think it is "him or them".
How is a woman to forgive her husband when he jam's birthday into Valentines Day in one card? I have tried over 25 years to express that these are 2 separate occasions. I have decided now that we do not celebrate birthdays anymore we will just celebrate LIFE!
Like working out struggles we have with a friend, particularly our spouse, when we want to say this will not work. I am not going to bend on this issue and we want to pack up and leave, we learn to rearrange our thinking to engage in their thoughts and the things that make their space more comfortable. Sometime we have to say “I am sorry for the way I held this against you. I will make it work". Letting go and letting G-D has always helped.
Just read an article today. So true for the love month. Read it at bottom. Great wisdom. When we can communicate our feelings and pray about the outcome, we discover the possibilities that our life has. We have each other. It is just like the rooms of furniture and all the changes to “our plans” that take place. When we believe in love and the commitment we have vowed, the moving of furniture from the past isn’t so hard. Our unmet expectations change but our commitment to each other changes not. Our love is the “glue stick” that holds us together.
This Valentines do not let your heart be broken . Look at ways to redesign your space. I am putting my expectations in things that are lasting. I am not hoping in romantic surprises. I will admit though that I love them when they come and they show up just in time.
I now have learned to place my hope in things that are lasting and not let the build up of unmet expectations disappoint me. The LOVE I have found never leaves me feeling shortchanged.
This year I am traveling to Israel for a month to fulfill a dream with purpose. I am setting my heart to be a blessing to women who have lost hope thru tragedy and loss. I have a husband who loves me even though he sometimes does not give me the unspoken dreams of my heart. He is my VALENTINE.
"The scientists defined forgiveness as the diminishing of the initial negative feelings that arise when you've been wronged. Their results showed that those who had prayed for their partner harbored fewer vengeful thoughts and emotions: They were more ready to forgive and move on."
The following is a news release from American Psychological Science News(APS):
We have all been guilty of a transgression at one time or another. That's because we're not perfect. We all commit hurtful acts, violate trust, and hope for forgiveness.
That's simply a fact, and here's another one: Nine out of 10 Americans say that they pray—at least on occasion. Florida State University psychologist Nathaniel Lambert put these two facts together and came up with an idea: Why not take all that prayer and direct it at the people who have wronged us? Is it possible that directed prayer might spark forgiveness in those doing the praying—and in the process preserve relationships?(Photo by: Adrian van Leen)
Lambert and his colleagues decided to test this scientifically in two experiments appearing in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. In the first, they had a group of men and women pray one single prayer for their romantic partner's well being. Others—the experimental controls—they simply described their partner, speaking into a tape recorder.
Then they measured forgiveness. The scientists defined forgiveness as the diminishing of the initial negative feelings that arise when you've been wronged. Their results showed that those who had prayed for their partner harbored fewer vengeful thoughts and emotions: They were more ready to forgive and move on.
If one single prayer can cause such a striking difference in feelings, then what could prayer over a period of time do for a relationship? In a second study, the researchers had a group of men and women pray for a close friend every day for four weeks. Others simply reflected on the relationship, thinking positive thoughts but not praying for their friend's well-being. They also added another dimension. They used a scale to measure selfless concern for others—not any particular person but other people generally. They speculated that prayer would increase selfless concern, which in turn would boost forgiveness.
And that's just what they found. But why? How does this common spiritual practice exert its healing effects? The psychological scientists have an idea: Most of the time, couples profess and believe in shared goals, but when they hit a rough patch, they often switch to adversarial goals like retribution and resentment. These adversarial goals shift cognitive focus to the self, and it can be tough to shake that self-focus. Prayer appears to shift attention from the self back to others, which allows the resentments to fade.
This made me realize the struggle we all are going thru to survive. What will a mother do to save her child? In this movie she gave him away so that he could LIVE. He BECAME against all odds a surgeon and eventually went back and saw his birth mother as a field doctor.
The relationship he had being raised Jewish and not understanding who he was. This became a constant inner conflict. Who am I? Why am a different than everyone who is "white"? He still had human emotions. He wanted to LOVE . He was unsure how to LIVE. He released his pain by praying every night, by looking at the moon and somehow connecting with the soul of his distant mother. Tragedy produces all types of defense mechanisms for survival.
We have to stay connected with the warm felt memories from lost love. We are all looking for a semblance of love. We all have a desire to know G-d. We look to Him in our greatest need.
He expressed his pain so beautifully by saying it was as though he had been taken away and lost or stolen and dropped into a large thorn bush. The stickers could not be removed the harder he tried the worse it got. The pain was particularly cruel underneath his fingernails. He could not remove the “STICKERS”. Is not this the way broken dreams of the heart from lost love and earthly relationships affect us?. We cannot see the “stickers” that are underneath our skin. The Hurt is unbearable.
Pain only goes away when we can release and love again. He had a new baby to encourage and show love. His heart must be stretched to reach beyond its limits. The family he was forming needed emotional stability. The future of his family depended on his emotional strength, not merely his surgical skills.
His history remembers pain, the isolation from his mother in Ethiopia, without food and water, seeing death at every turn. He witnessed his own siblings dying before his eyes and somehow feeling responsible for their death.
He Lived to become a lover. He is a champion of triumphing over adversity and conquering pain thru continuing to live and LOVE again.
As we are remembering the history of the Holocaust today on January 27 it is a good time to look at love and hold dearly those things that are close. We learn how people survive tragedy and those who helped become heroes.
Conflict, like in the movie, produces new bonds where love can become evident.
The pastor at Le Chambon, André Trocmé(pictured left with his family) challenged his small flock with this very issue of who was their neighbour.
We must look for stories that portray how people care and love to rescue the perishing. We can look for opportunities to help heal “hurts” when we read stories that inspire us to greatness. This is one such story written below about a town in France. I particularly loved it because my grandmother came from Marseilles France. We connect our heart to others in the hope that we will respond with such great LOVE.
As Holocaust Day, January 27, is noted, an historian says: "A small community of Protestant Christians, descendants of Huguenots, were faced with a choice that would challenge the very essence of their faith. Would they live what they preached or would they put their own safety first?"
(France)—Somehow, stories of faith and heroism resonating from WWII continue to inspire us. Perhaps it is because we are still connected to the war by parents and grandparents who fought in it. Perhaps it is because in our times of tribulations there are more lessons to be learned from those who encountered similar trials before us.
Case in point: Le Chambon sur Lignon, a small village in south central France set on a plateau high in the mountains. It is where, according to reporter Russel Bowles, one of the most remarkable expressions of love of the whole war occurred when the Christian inhabitants defied the Nazi occupation and provided a safe haven for thousands of Jewish people—many of them children. No Jew that requested shelter was turned away.
As reported in Inspire Magazine, it was the pastor at Le Chambon, André Trocmé, who challenged his small flock with the question of who their neighbors were in the Biblical context. Soon, the small flock—risking their lives to do so—began taking in Jews.
According to the report, eventually the pastor and his assistant Edouard Théis were arrested. "However, amazingly, they were released before they were due to be deported to the east. The Gestapo also arrested the Pastor's cousin, Daniel Trocmé, and he died in Majdanek extermination camp."
"Bad as these events were," writes Bowles, "it seemed that the Almighty had His hand of protection on the village, for in all about 5,000 Jews were sheltered when the Nazis were leaving no stone unturned elsewhere in their pursuit."
This has been an interesting week. I have learned a lot about interpersonal relationships.
I manage a crew of around 5 on a given day for a design installation. The challenge comes when one of the people does not carry their weight. My husband gave me a wonderful sense of encouragement on Monday morning as he read from the Message Bible “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray.” It went on to say “let G-d know all your concerns. Before you know it, it is a sense of wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.”
This was going to be a great Monday, as a builder called me to have us “stage” 2 of his homes, one he took in on a trade and another of his $5million custom homes he had built, to help clear out his present inventory. This seemed to be a “match made in heaven” I am trying to “let go” of furniture from “previous relationships” - a furniture affair!
This “match” had a few added pieces to the puzzle. Some of the furniture was already happily “arranged” in another home. How would it be “broken up” and split between 2 households? Would it work and have the right sense of arrival? Rooms, like people, talk and make a statement. The timing of the day was essential. We had 3 houses to do, one to undo , a warehouse pick up, and 2 new houses to stage.
I am so glad I am only moving furniture and not people with emotions and children with broken hearts form one parent and home to the next. My frustrations come from unheaded worry about how “things will work out” and nothing will be broken, missing, or not fit. Will my crew be responsive to the day?
Are they READY to GO?
I love and hate cell phone communication. I love it when I get the call from my married son in San Franscico saying “I made the Presidents Club”. I hate it when I get the call from the driver and he is LATE. I am ready to go. How many times have we made people wait? I say no problem. I know the traffic is bad on Monday morning, so will you be there in 20 minutes? “Sure”. I settle into a hassle free day knowing I can go to the warehouse and sort thru the necessary components for the “rooms”.
The next call: “I am here but I am LOST”. This is over an HOUR LATE. I say “did you get a map from the guard at the gate?” “No”. he says. I say “where is the map with the lot numbers I gave you?” At this point everything my husband has said to me has gone out the window. Worry changed to ANXIETY. Now all I need is another “call” saying they have no room in the truck for all the furnishings. Sure enough, the CALL came “we don’t think it will all fit”. I was near breakdown but I knew that I had to reach into that place hidden inside and pull up those BURRIED TREASURES… PEACE JOY & FAITH.
I had done these moves many times and they always worked out. The furniture like relationships change and move but the lasting ones work and stay with you .
What else could go wrong with this wonderful blue- sky- filled Monday? We were already LATE and LOST. What next??
I get the CALL they were leaving the gated golf community and I could meet them at the next house, the NEW HOUSE. I must start being excited to see where all the pieces from the “past relationships” would fit. It is just like meeting people for the first time. You are not sure how they will like you and the other way around. There is excitement mixed with apprension. I had everything I needed for the first trip so I better go and MEET AND GREET my CREW. The next truck could get anything I forgot. My nerves were calm, my heart was steady, SET to GO.
By this time I had prepared to take the crew cookies and chocolate for the explosive phone conversation…after I lost it, like when your husband brings you flowers when he comes home LATE! I was really “settling into the words of Paul read from my husband to START my day, I like NIKE, JUST WANTED TO DO IT!!
I turned on the key to my car - not a sound, not even an engine grind. Oh my, the BATTERY is DEAD. I must REJOICE IN ALL THINGS, but this was getting ridiculous!! I truly had seen the CALM before the storm. My warehouse is next to several people who could help me “jump” the car. I needed a JUMP START TODAY!!
I finally arrived at another beautiful European Villa, LATE but not LOST. I realized this day would turnaround. I turned it over to prayer. IT is like LOVE and MARRIAGE. They do stay together when we work on keeping our BATTERY CHARGED.
I will write next week on how the houses turned out and perhaps include some pictures. One thing for sure, the G-d that loves me watches over me. He is NEVER LATE & LOST and always EVER READY TO HELP!!
Well. I will tell you something about a great night out. Have you ever gone to something based solely on a recommendation from someone else. Or better yet a movie review that made you believe it would be better than the “Titanic”, after all it was the same director & producers. $200 million in one week - surely this would be a great pick for a Saturday night flick.
Since we live rather close to the theater I thought a brisk walk would be fun to start our “date”. This would give us time to talk about what we were going to see. Sometimes this is our only time to play catch up & find each other. Emotions tug and our hearts break when we don’t find each other. Walking clears the air and opens communication. Blue skies clear our cloudy days!
There was a shift in the barometric atmosphere as plans changed. Alone I ran across the golf course to the mall where the theater is located. I averted snow showers and ”freezing” heart conditions with warm thoughts of popcorn. So much for a nice walk to start our date!
He hurried ahead to save 2 seats in the middle. He was fearful they would “sell out” early, since this was such a box office hit. I acquiesced and bought the bait. It happened the other day when I let him take me out to dinner because of a coupon he had. I should have remembered he never told me the menu. I trusted his taste. I walked into the movie to “will call” picked up my ticket not even sure of the name of the movie. Was it Atomizer, or Aviation, oh, I know, Avant Guard. He hands me the ticket it reads AVATAR. I thought it would be a romantic love story that would make me tear up over the thoughts of seeing an actor like De Caprio. This would be a great escape.
As I joined him center seat, like he said, I braced myself for romance and laughter, perhaps a step back in time. I think that is why we are always decorating homes after a place we have so often never been. We somehow get to dream we are in Provence or Tuscany instead of where we are.
As the movie opened I realized we were in some scientific lab with far out ideas about changing brains and places. We were being thrust into the Future. I wanted to be some place other than in the land of Pandora . Avatar got my attention all right. I never liked Jurassic Park - I shut my eyes the whole time! Sci-fi I detest, give me a doctor like Dr. Zivago. I am not drawn to GI Joe in some techni-colored Vortex. I know there will be after market dolls that my grandson will hug. After all his mom had an ET doll. Another movie not high on my favorite list. These movies confuse spiritual issues making the reality of the ONE TRUE G-D a myth. See the movie review "Plugged In" http://www.pluggedin.com/movies/intheaters/avatar.aspx and you can further decide if this is great food for a child’s soul. We all want to cuddle and embrace something thinking this will FIX our pain.
People are looking for a justification for the messes we and our world are in. We want something to hold and value. We want the gods to come down and fix things!
I looked up the meaning of the word Avatar in the Webster’s Dictionary to discover why I felt uncomfortable with the content. It stated this fact of incarnation by the god’s. The central theme of this movie was based on a Hindu concept where the god’s come down in bodily form to the earth. The worship of the EARTH in the movie was mesmerizing. A true departure from worship of the LIVING G-D.
We are always looking for an imaginary land to move to, a place where everything will be better. I have embraced the one true G-d concept central in the Bible. When you study the Pentateuch a warning is pronounced to have NO OTHER gods besides ADONAI. As a child I discovered this and sought to know HIM, He grew real BIG inside of me. My world changes because He changes me.
Life teaches us lessons. The book of Proverbs talks about man planning his way but the LORD directs his steps. We have wonderful building blocks if we will apply them in every area of our family life. Our communication strengthens as we grow in HIS LOVE language.
So am I a romantic by not wanting to save the “trees”? I want to save lives that are slipping and connect them to purposeful living and meaningful relationships. I want to hold on to life and enjoy the pleasures that a precious baby bring. I want children to dream big because G-d is dreaming big in them.
Live dreams thru loving life. Allow the G-d that holds the universe in place to complete His plans and purposes in you.
Francis Bacon said, “A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.”
I am yet to uncover all the mysteries in this world. Just like in the movie as they were discovering how to see their world thru the forest’s eyes, I too am so sensitive to my CREATOR. I am beginning to have HIS EYES AND SEE AND FEEL LIKE HIM. Am I really from another planet?